Kali (Judgement vs Knowledge on The Mothers Dance Part II)


Have you ever heard this word?  if not, maybe immediately  you will open your browser and start typing this word in Google search engine and stroked by its result. You will find a list of terrifying images, a woman with four arms complete with her sharply drawn sword in her back right hand, a trisula held in her front right hand, a severed human head in her back left hand and the blood is collected in a bowl held in her front left hand. Her terrifying appearance not stop there, a chain of severed heads decorates her neck and  a chain of severed hands is also covers her naked body. She’s also conceptualized standing in a chess of a man, which is non other than her husband, Lord Shiva itself.

Mother Kali standing on top of her husband Shiva

And then, what if I say that I’m one of Her devotee ? maybe some of you might think that I am the son of saitan, or should I say in Balinese I am the son of Leak? or, evil worshiper? Yup it means you are normal according to society. Fair enough, I’m not gonna put any comment on what you are thinking about it. But for a curious mind would keep asking, why this kind of madness has became an icon in religious tradition, like  Hinduism especially Tantric tradition. Maybe this little explanation will full fill part of you curiosity. Just put your curiosity first and leave aside your judgement for a while and enjoy this writing.

I wrote an article also in here about similar topic from a different perspective, more about the relationship between Kali images with the knowledge about how this existence came into being. The relationship among consciousness, maya/perception, ahamkara/ego and existence itself. In this article I’m trying to explore the psychological aspect of the figure. What the seers  ware trying to teach us through these symbols.

The word ‘Kali’ means time or darkness and she is also worshiped as the Mother of Death. From macrocosmic perspective Kali is the symbol of darkness or more precisely the emptiness which was there before creation, before time itself, not only the emptiness of things or matter, but also  the emptiness of the time and space and concept. In this case we might say that this darkness/emptiness is the ‘Mother’ of whole creation, including time, space and matter. To put our self in this perspective we have to cut “the head” of the ego, which has covered us from the Truth, which is laying there, right beneath Her feet (Shiva/Pure Consciousness).

“Time is the only true unit of measure. It gives proof to the existence of matter. Without time, we don’t exist.” -Lucy Movie

And then as The Time. Time  is the mother of all existence including life, and for sure time  is also the destroyer of all things regardless it’s a good or bad, including us which are walking to the same destination, to Death. Seems like this is a very horrible thing which we may think of, yet this is the most “naked” fact/ truth which we’ve been trying to escape from (that is why Her appearance is naked) regardless what is your belief, eternal heaven or reincarnation.  Nothing will be able to run from Her(time). The image also teach us after all of the dramas which we’ve played in movie of life,  after all of the money which we’ve collected along the way, after all the beauty we’ve maintained so far,  we all gonna be end up with the same form, which will be as Her chain of  skull hanging  beautifully on Her neck over and over again. It might be terrifying, but that is the most naked truth which we need to face of. No body can escape from it, yet everybody  pretending that Death might not pick us up immediately. Then when the “Time”  comes we are not ready cuz we’ve never prepared for it. That is why the seers were trying to “alarm” us, with such an annoying (terrifying) image like this, in order to transcend  our fear  into readiness, make us get in touch with the most terrifying fact in our life. Through this image the seers is suggesting us  face to face with Death, bring death in the front of our face every day, raise our most basic energy of life, fear and our capability of survival, in order to develop our self into a ready state of mind,  when Mother (time) come.  How do we do this? The seers  also provided the story behind this image. Kali previously was in rage killing many living things she faced along the way, up until she realized that she stepped on a man chest, which was Lord Shiva itself. Then she was calmed down and returned to Her nature as The Beautiful Goddess. It means that, she as the time (one of Maya manifestation) which is also constructed from our mind, moving very fast in life, taking everything at its end, including our own life. Until we be able to slow it down and at the very subtle state, step it(our mind) on top of our Consciousness. Realize that the true nature of our self is pure Consciousness (Lord Shiva). There we would become a very beautiful being living in this cruel world.

All of our mind quality, creativity, compassion, our effort in bringing the mind into a peaceful state, is base on the energy to survive from death, at least for sometime, so we could have a better life before it.  That is why such “alarm” was made in horrible form. Fear, along with  survival capability as reaction in escaping from it, is the basic human energy which is used for developing the next level state of mind such as creativity, compassion,sincerity, clarity and the ability in bringing the mind into the most peaceful sate, in order to face our life and then death.

Kali Yatra from wikipedia.org

Now you see, the power of this image, it’s not a magical stuff as most people might think so far. Tantric teaching and its methods is always about knowledge of psychology, knowledge of our mind, its behaviors  and beyond. And this method has also been practiced for centuries by many traditions across the globe, such as Sufism with “remembrance of death” (dhikr al-mawt) , Tibetan Buddhism(cemetery meditation), Memento Mori Theory(“The Art of Dying”) a practice from Latin tradition and many more.

“The Way of the Samurai is, morning after morning, the practice of death, considering whether it will be here or be there, imagining the most sightly way of dying, and putting one’s mind firmly in death. Although this may be a most difficult thing, if one will do it, it can be done. There is nothing that one should suppose cannot be done.”



“Death is the mother of beauty; hence from Her, alone, shall come fulfillment to our dreams and our desires”

– Wallace Stevens in “Sunday Morning”



When I say I’m the devotee of Kali, it does not mean that I’m worshiping a horrible creature exist out there, dancing and holding a human head, sucking the blood dripping into the bowl. It means, that I am in a deep practice inwardly, to go along with Time, see it as the most naked fact in the front of us, hardly practice to bring Death as a normal part of life,  transcend the fear of it, into energy of survival, creativity, compassion, clarity, intuitive way of thinking and at last a peaceful mind in welcoming the Death. Thank You.

If You’re Not Here, How Could Everything Find You?

This is a simple quote but have a very profound meaning. Partly we are always here. Wherever we go we will always be here. Of course I’m talking about subjective part of our self. In the other side, some part of it always wandering far away from here. Yes that is our monkey mind. And unfortunately this should be the most important tool for us, which should receive the Knowledge from The Source which is always here. If the tool which we should use receiving the knowledge were not here, then who could we understand it?

Being here is not merely about perceiving everything around us. Some people even think that we may not think about the future even a little bit, in order to be fully here. Creating a plan for a better future is also happening in here and now. And always remember, there will always be a time where the plan should be happened, but it does not run as what we have planned. In this case, being here should also be our tool in order to deal with it.In that situation, being here is about understanding the situation completely and observe it, in order to find out the answer of the error.

Fear is the main reason of the mind, for not being here. It makes the mind wasting its energy, filling itself with so many speculation and forget about the main problem which is always exist in here. And remember the mind is the most powerful tool which human being have in his life. The mind is not only merely about thinking, remembering or memorizing, but the mind is also the container of the emotional entities of human being, and the most powerful part of the mind is its power in perceiving the world. If we able to optimize its capabilities by focusing on the most important thing, then our life will also be optimized. We live our life for something more important and valuable. Not wasting it for anxiety, fear and regret.

In every scene in the movie of life, we have both sides of the coin of goodness and badness. That’s how we will enjoy the excitement of the show, otherwise the movie will completely boring. We need more challenge in order to grow our skill in life. It’s not about the scene which is presented, yet it’s about the way we react over it. Many times most of our energy wasted for something which has not yet happening, that triggers fear or anxiety, therefore no energy for dealing with real problem and creativity. This is the sample of not being here.

There is a story which has become one of the most striking story of my life. One of the story which has changed the way I live my life. This story came from a conversation between Buddha and his disciple. Once upon a time, a disciple came to Buddha and asked about, if there is life after death, if there is heaven or hell waiting for all of us, and how the universe was created. Then as usual, with His simple and fully compassionate smile, Buddha throw another question to him. “If you’re hit by an arrow, what would you do first, run after the one fired it out to you, or pull out the arrow which is stuck in your feet?” a very simple question, yet have a very deep wisdom about how should we live our life.

When we’re falling down, right in a very second, we raise the fear about what will happen next, what will happen to me, how am i going to deal with my future etc. etc. , and at the same time blaming others about what’s going on. Why? because our most rugged layer of the mind, such as our emotional layer, is always be able to taking over everything right after we perceiving it. Yup, because this layer is closer to the perceived world compare to our intelligent, which is more subtle layer of our mind. The intellect is the tool which we use to observe and analyze all events including the event which is happening in the mind. But we never arrived into this layer because our energy is wasted for the more outside layer. Intelligent and the analytic process is more “here” compare to fear, anxiety, regret and all of the emotional layer elements. Therefore to be able to access this layer easier, we have to be more here. Then all answers, creatively and idea will raise up from it as the source of them. Have we aver notice this? That all ideas and creativity came from our deepest part of our self, or should i say the most “here” of our self? Yes, the information which supports the idea came from the outside world, but the creatively and new idea which has shaped the world itself, is always come from inside, from what most wise teachers called as The Source.

Imagine if we get used in “being here” always, there will be much easier for us in accessing The Source, we’re going to be a person which is full of creativity and flood by ideas in life. The person who lives his life only for something valuable for him. That is the most exciting life that we could have isn’t it?



The Movie of Life

What is the most profound meaning of this life? Maybe this question has been asked for centuries by human being. Many answers have been given. Some say it’s all about the fight between good and bad, between right action for heaven and wrong action for hell. The morality is base on the reward and punishment. Some other say life is a playground for the entire universe or existence as it nature,to forget its self in order to enjoy the play and make it more excited. And the morality is base on the action-reaction and also deeply seeing another people even another thing as part of our self, therefore there is no reason in hurting them. We may subscribe to any of them. We all need something hang on to.    I myself take the second approach as my map in walking my life.

We were not plug into this nature out of somewhere, we raised from it. 

For me, life is like watching a movie, we may cry in a sadness scene or we may laugh in a funny or a happy scene. Sometimes we also angry or even mad as a response for the action of another figure in it. But after all, beneath all of those dramas, which are presented in the movie, there is an enjoyment part about watching the movie its self, which are mostly forgotten when we are drowning in the emotional scenes of the show. In fact that is the main reason we watch the movie, the enjoyment of it.

Similar with this life, all things which is happening is just like scenes in a movie, sometime it’s a happy scene, many times it’s broken a part in an unhappy one. After all, we suppose to remember and practice our self to fall back to the state where we are acting as the silent watcher, we are watching all scenes of our life, pleasant or unpleasant, good or bad, happy or sad. Always remember the enjoyment part in watching the movie of life. This is the highest meaning of meditation. It is not about sitting quietly, it’s not even about the body, it’s about simply falling back into the witnessing state of every experience, because only in this state you make a discrimination between what you are and what you are not, what the controller is and what should the controlled be. And in this very state of witnessing, the main enjoyment of life takes place.

To be able to put thinking process as tool of life without become a slave to the thought process, or to be able to experience all emotions , yet without becoming blinded by it, is the goal. In other word, whatever experience the mind and body capable of, its capability of experiencing all this, yet at the same time nothing roles over us. This is an incredible quality of a mind. How do we reach that ? Simply by putting our self in this witnessing state, fully awareness state. The state where the residues of our actions do not have any implication. The state where all good and bad experience simply become like a cloud which is coming and going. The state where we are as the infinite clear blue sky, using the cloud just as its beautify ornament of its existence. The state where the awareness no longer belong to you, to me , to him.. just Awareness.


The Ouroboros as the symbol Awareness which is Aware of itself

The Ouroboros as the symbol of Awareness which is aware of itself

Judgement vs Knowledge on The Mothers Dance

Look at our society now! In the era of the social media, It is very easy to find any kind of information, but in other hand, it’s also easy to share the miss-understood version of it. Is this an error of the technology and a mistake from the writer of the information, as the outside parameters of this problem, or we are leak of curiosity in adopting it? That is the tendencies of our mind, judgment and laziness.
In the other hand, words always fail in explaining something substantial. And you know what, the trap of the ego is the main source of the judgment and judgment makes people forget to stay curious on things and makes them very easy to be controlled, like a group of duck in the rice fields.

In eastern teachings, especially Tantric method, produces a bunch of Not-make-sense images to the society, and keeps the make-sense understanding in secret. And, in order to find this make-sense understanding you need to have a huge curiosity, and this curiosity expand your way of thinking and sharpen your mind. Why? Because knowledge which came from your own experience or at least your own exploration is the knowledge which you’ll never forget. This is what I love about tantric teaching and all of its methods. They blow your mind.

I think this is the key which trigger the neuroplasticity


Kali Standing in The Chest of Shiva (Image Source from Pinterest)


The ego, which is always be the source of ignorance and conflict, and the main cover from the ultimate Truth, need to be cut in the head by the sharpened knowledge. By removing the cover from our eyes, will see the Truth is laying there beneath all illusion, created by the ego.

Many times our mind play trick in the illusion of good and bad, right and wrong, holy and profane. Just like the image above. First impression created by the ego is horrible, evil creature. But for a developed mind with non judgment and strong curiosity, this must be meant something, otherwise it would not be used as a self development tool. And when the secret of the real truth appears from the Knowledge hidden behind this image, our eyes will see the real power and its impact to our psychology.

Herewith I put the Tantric interpretation of Kali standing on top of her husband from http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kali
is as follows:

“The Shiv tattava (Divine Consciousness as Shiva) is inactive, while the Shaktitattava (Divine Energy as Kali) is active. Shiva and Kali represent Brahman, the Absolute pure consciousness which is beyond all names, forms and activities. Kali, on the other hand, represents the potential (and manifested) energy responsible for all names, forms and activities. She is his Shakti, or creative power, and is seen as the substance behind the entire content of all consciousness. She can never exist apart from Shiva or act independently of him, just as Shiva remains a mere corpse without Kali i.e., Shakti, all the matter/energy of the universe, is not distinct from Shiva, or Brahman, but is rather the dynamic power of Brahman.[47] Hence, Kali is Para Brahman in the feminine and dynamic aspect while Shiva is the male aspect and static. She stands as the absolute basis for all life, energy and beneath her feet lies, Shiva, a metaphor for mass, which cannot retain its form without energy.”

Only by presenting it in one image, the tantric seers teach us how the universe came into being. This does not only explain about macro cosmos but also our existence as part of It, or maybe in the other way around, the universe exists because of our Consciousness(Shiva) perceiving(Shakti) it through this senses? Just like the tantric explains it as

” The Shiv tattava (Divine Consciousness as Shiva) is inactive, while the Shaktitattava (Divine Energy as Kali) is active”

“Kali, on the other hand, represents the potential (and manifested) energy responsible for all names, forms and activities. ”


“The cosmos is within us. We are made of star-stuff. We are a way for the universe to know itself.”

-Carl Sagan

“All matter originates and exists only by virtue of a force… We must assume behind this force the existence of a conscious and intelligent Mind. This Mind is the matrix of all matter.”

-Max Planck

I See You as Well

Yes, I worship the rocks, but I see no rock, that is why I don’t throw them to your face.

Yes, I worship the fire, but I see no fire, that is why I don’t burn your house down.

Yes, I worship the mountains and the trees, but I see no trees, that is why I don’t cut them down into pieces.

Yes, I worship the ocean, but I see no ocean, no wave, no ripple. I see the Self projected,projecting and then experiencing Itself.  I see You as well

The Emptiness, The Self

The table is in the room, the room is in the house, the house is in Jakarta, Jakarta is in west java, west java is in java, java is in Indonesia, Indonesia is in Asia, Asia is in the earth the earth is in the galaxy, the galaxy is in the universe, the universe is in the space, and the space is in my experience, and the experience is in the Self:)

without The Self, there would be no experience, without experience there would be no space, without space there would be no universe, without universe there would be no galaxy, without galaxy there would be no earth, without earth there would be no Asia, without Asia there would be no Indonesia, without Indonesia there would be no Java, without Java there would be no west java, without west java, there would be no Jakarta,without Jakarta there would be no house, without house there would be no room, without room there would be no table. without The Self there would be no table :)

the table is empty,

the room is empty,

the house is empty,

the Jakarta is empty,

the west Java is empty,

the Java is empty,

the Indonesia is empty,

the Asia is empty,

the Earth is empty,

the Galaxy is empty,

the Universe is empty.

The Self is the container of this world just like what the Self is for the dream. There is no separation, no other thing which is separated from the Infinite Self.

The 4 Paths


Some people are not be able to see their greatness within, they require  a quality projection images as a father, mother, friend, even their child as divine motivation and as a trigger to blow out the true nature of them self…. Love.

Devotion is the way.


Some people see oneness in all being, even divine being no different. Helping others  is helping them self. There is no time for their little ego, they break it down and rejoin to the greater good.

Selfless Services is the way.


Some people see divine projection is nonsense and experienced all actions only bring them more suffering. There is no place for Gods and Goddesses. And try to hit the jackpot by sharpen their knowledge,intuition and turn their head on, in order to understand the reality and rejoin to It.

Philosophical Wisdom is the way.


Some people see all actions both physical and mind activities only bring them conflict externally and internally. They try to fall them back peacefully to the Source of those mind and its cognitive power within.

Contemplation is the way.


And for all of those people reconciliation is the way

We were born and grow in many different character and environment, why we have to push it to be the same  ?  where is the space for freedom and creativity? How many people have to die again and again in struggling on it? Why we have to kill each other for heaven?

krieg-barrie-many-paths (1)


The Elders Legacy

The elders programming language in the form of art,celebrations, contemplation practices and spiritual wisdom in daily life, which shaped what Jungian psychologist says as Collective Unconscious of the Balinese society complete with its Archetypes, as guidance which has made Bali as what it is now. Their legacy is not about conflict between heaven and hell, but about transforming hell into heaven, and transcending heaven into Divine Ultimate Peace and Bliss, in the very present of time, as the only moment which is exist in life.

For centuries, Balinese people have been living by coloring their life with art and integrating their creativity with the creativity of the nature, producing a magnificent quality of a civilization, which is not depending their qualities on material value, but psychological quality growth. Simple society based economic system, which is supported by the needs of spirituality practice in the form of ceremonial and colorful festival, which has protected their existence for centuries in the middle of majorities penetration. Even their existence shines brighter.

Have we treated this legacy well? Or we start to bury it in the sake of economy and others land?

I’m not saying that Bali is the only place in this country which has such potential, but unfortunately many places have lost their character by sinking their legacy  deeply and killed their potential in the name of modernization, intellectual and blind faith. The blind faith which insist uniformity and kill freedom of creativity, which should be the seed of a great civilization. In this point , I agree that somehow, blind faith has become a talented architect of their Ego, and then becomes the greatest illusion of their life, in the form of control and conflict, far from the Balinese highest goal of life which is Ultimate Peace and Bliss.


Ilmu Pengetahuan, Teknologi dan Advaita Vedanta

Perkembangan Ilmu pengetahuan dan teknologi sekarang ini mungkin ada sebuah cerminan ke mana arah pergerakan kesadaran universal manusia. Mungkin bisa dibilang kalau memang ini yang “diinginkan” oleh kesadaran universal tersebut. dan setiap manusia yang mempunyai peranan dalam membawa dunia ini ke arah apa yang umat manusia capai sekarang, adalah alat-alat yang digunakan oleh kesadaran universal itu untuk berevolusi ke arah yang “diinginkannya”.

Lalu ke mana sebenarnya arah evolusi itu? saya kira arahnya adalah ke arah yang nantinya akan membuat understanding kita berubah terhadap bagaimana kita memahami realita ini. Kearah kesatuan, buakn dalam artian kesatuan Idiologi atau keyakinan, tapi kesatuan pemahaman bagaimana realita itu bekerja dan apa substansi dari realita kita sebagai manusia. Sehingga kita akan menyadari bahwa keberagaman itu berasal dari substansi yang sama, yang nantinya membuat kita akan menghormatinya lebih dalam, bukan karena disuruh orang lain, tapi karena pengalaman kita sudah menyadarinya.

Selama ini bagi pandangan konvensional menganggap, seolah-olah ada 7 milyar kesadaran membagi 1 dunia yang sama. tapi kalau kita mengacu pada pengalaman kita, kita tidak pernah menemukan dunia yang sama untuk tiap manusila, semua manusia mempersepsekan dunia ini berbeda stu sama lain. seorang manusia tidak bisa membagi persepsinya tentang dunia dengan orang lain dalam bentu persepsi yang sama. Persepsi tentang dunia ini bersifat privat untuk setiap manusia, termasuk dunia pikiran. Untuk itu dalam pemahaman Advaita Vedanta dan Kaum mistic, mempunyai pandangan yang berbeda terhadap bagaimana ini hadir dalam kesadaran kita. Advaita dan Mistik lebih menekan kan perspektif pengalaman. Pemahaman ini menempatkan Kesadaran sebagai satu kesatuan Universal dan dengan kekuatan Maya, memunculkan Ego yang membuat seolah olah kesadaran tersebut terpisah satu sama lain, dan dari tiap tiap Ego ini mempunyai persepsi yang berbeda-beda terhadap dirinya sendiri, yang kemudian menghasilkan 7 milyar Dunia(persepsi) yang berbeda-beda. Seperti relasi gelombang dan lautan, hanya pesepsi manusia (Maya) yang melabelinya menjadi gelombang dan lautan, padahal esensi dari keduanya adalah satu kesatuan yang sama.

Lalu kemudian muncul sebuah pertanyaan, kenapa ada konsistensi antara 7 milyar dunia tersebut ? Kita bisa katakan kalau 7 milyar dunia itu berasal dari 1 Kesadaran yang sama.

Kalau saya ambil analogi untuk menjelaskan ini, contoh yang paling pas adalah Permainan Game Online. Internet/Server adalah 1 Kesadaran Universal, Client adalah Ego, dan Game di tiap tiap screen di client adalah Dunia dunia persepsi yang digenerate oleh Client berdasarkan informasi yang di download dari Kesadaran sang Server di Internet. Setiap client akan membentuk Dunia yang berbeda berdasrkan peran dan event yang diterima si client tersebut.

Salah satu contoh lain adalah bagaimana pemahaman Advaita Vedanta, tentang realita, dimana dengan jelas menempatkan Subject sebagai peran yang paling crusial dalam penciptaan kwalitas objective seperti materi. hal ini terbukti dalam Quantum Physic dalam Double Split Experiment. Di level Quantum, partikel hanya menjadi partikel saat ada pengamat yang mempersepsikanya, tanpa pengemat, semua materi ini hanyalah potensi murni, yang bahkan lebih jauh oleh pemahaman Advaita Vedanta, juga berasal dari substansi yang sama dengan Subject sebagai pengamatnya. Oleh sebabitulah pemahaman ini di sebut Advaita(non dualisme) yang berarti Hanya Satu tanpa yang kedua, yang bermakna dualisme subject dan object pun hanya persepsi semata, (Atman dan Brahman tidaklah berbeda).


Inilah yang membuat saya yakin bahwa setiap manusia mempunyai peranan yang berbeda beda untuk mengarah pada tujuan yang sama, sebuah pemahaman tentan kesejatian dirinya sebagai satu kesatuan Kesadaran. bukan keterpisahan

Menarik bukan?

Go Beyond Your Mind

If somebody ask you to go beyond your mind, where will you go? All space outside you, as soon as it becomes your experience or perception, will be covered by your mind, including your dream. The only place you possibly go to experience “Beyond mind” is at the source of it, which is You. There you can fully understand Beyond Mind stuff which means including beyond time and space, beyond start and end, beyond all reasons,  beyond all questions,  cuz all of those stuff is the product of your mind . Without those experience of complete peace and perfection,  you can only be possible to touch the philosophical layer of this Truth.

Switch to our mobile site